Don't Judge My Sexual Orientation, Please.

Hi, I’m straight. I just want to get that out there. There seems to be some confusion lately. Oh, not on my part, but by others. People are good at making assumptions about my sexual orientation. I’ve known I’ve been straight my whole life. Well, excluding two minutes in high school.

Let me give some background: My senior year of high school I decided to go to college to get a bachelor’s of musical theatre performance. I wanted to be an actor and perform in musicals for my life. I was pretty talented at it. Yet, the rumors at the time were that a lot of gay people did musicals. I didn’t really know any gays in high school. We assumed one kid was so we made fun of him-I painfully regret that. But on this particular day, I was walking down a staircase from a classroom on the third floor to the first; it took about two minutes. While walking down the stairs I started thinking, “Hmm, I wonder if I’ll be gay one day. Since most actors are gay, and I want to be an actor, does that mean I’ll just turn gay sometime?” I debated this down the stairs. Once I reached the bottom of the steps I had this realization: “Wait, no, I’m straight. I won’t be gay.” The end. I’ve been straight ever since.

And so I, as a straight male, worked in a business in which I was a minority. I didn’t mind it really. And through all these years a lot of people have judged my sexual orientation.

While working as an actor the mantra was, “gay until proven straight.” So few straight men in the business, you just assumed everyone was gay. I was fine with that.

When I would go to gay bars with my gay friends it was if I had a neon sign above my head that flashed “Straight! Straight!” I was fine with that.

Now that I am in seminary and seem to be in this weird Christian bubble, people think I’m gay. I not fine with this.

People judging my sexual orientation has never bothered me before. I don’t mind if people think I’m gay, it usually means they think I dress stylish. It’s a compliment. But lately, I have met people who think I’m gay for stupid reasons. And most of these people are Christians. It seems as if people think I’m gay because I dress nice, or because I wear pink, or have a purple wall in my apartment, or because I condition my hair and pluck my eyebrows, or I am comfortable hanging out in a gay bar, or prefer museums to sports. (I know, that does sounds a bit gay)

Since when do we judge a person’s sexual orientation by one’s choice of clothing, or by one’s choice of decorating, or by one’s vanity, or by one’s choice of nightlife? Seriously, why do we do this?

I am getting tired of these assumptions from Christians. Even Christian women I have dated in the last couple years have thought I have been gay prior to knowing me. I’m tired of people making ignorant assumptions based off of social constructs. I’m tired of these gender roles that say men spit, swear and don’t wash themselves or cry, that dirt under their nails and having no sense of fashion is a requirement for masculinity.

So I pluck my eyebrows. Does that make me gay? No, that makes me have really nice eyebrows, stupid. So I condition my hair. Does that make me gay? No, that means I have really nice locks, stupid. So I like purple as a wall color. Does that make me gay? No, that makes my apartment look real nice, stupid.

I really don’t care if you think I’m gay or not. I know I am straight. I know I am a man. My sexual orientation, whether gay or straight, does not make me less of one. Fixing my car and getting greasy or dancing in a ballet does not add or subtract to my masculinity. What you think about whom I sleep with or to whom I am attracted doesn’t matter to me at all. I’m sorry if you’re not secure enough about your own gender identity that you are confused by me, a straight male, who happens to be a little bit of a princess.

What bothers me are you ignorant Christians who make assumptions about my sexual orientation because you have yet to meet a man who is so secure in his identity. And not a gay or straight identity but strictly an identity. I’m sorry if that sounds vain and egotistical, but I’m that secure. Or as one of my friends puts it, “Real men know how to THINK. Any monkey can push, pull and hit things.” And I think, a lot.

Christian, do you really think I’m gay because I wear pink? Do you really think I’m gay because my apartment is clean and nicely decorated? Do you really think I’m gay because I don’t play sports? Do you really think plucking my eyebrows makes me gay? So I’m a bit vain, does that make you think I want to kiss other men? If so, I don’t get you! Maybe it’s because you don’t know any gay people? You need to get out of your Christian bubble and meet some people. Perhaps if some of you actually had a good friend who was gay you wouldn’t make such stupid assumptions.

I was in Thailand last week. Even a Thai woman thought I was gay. (I guess it’s worldwide) She said it was because I was afraid of spiders and didn’t have a girlfriend. So as a joke, a buddy of mine bought me a t-shirt that says, “Sorry ladies, I’m gay!” I am going to wear it.

But Nathan, you’re straight, why would you wear that, you ask? Because gender roles have to change. Because you shouldn’t be judging my sexual orientation by a t-shirt. Because I am so secure as a straight male that I can wear a shirt like that. Because my sexual orientation is not determined by what I wear, drink, eat, or because I prefer to go to art museums rather than play sports. I will wear that shirt as a straight man to prove to the ignorant people out there that humanity in general is more important than a human’s sexual orientation.

I’m off to be a real man. I’m off to think. I’m off to learn. I’m off to read. I’m off to take a shower, and smell nice and look great. I’m off to sing a little. I’m off to have a drink- maybe even an alcoholic one that is pink. I’m off to be sensitive and shed a tear once and a while.

I’m off to be a real man. Sorry if that confuses you.
Posted by Naytin at 12:27 PM

Im back to stay and move on...

in this new chapter in my life as I begun leaving my anniversary of being in Chicago 2 years.
I knew it would be a hard month...October 1st was the first day I had to be moved out, I had to extend it for 3days. I moved on a saturday, in the rain, 2 hours late and of course I needed another 2nd storage unit. I got moved out by 9pm and was staying at my buddys place for 9days while he was chilling in the Dominican Republic. Then I flew out on Friday the 9th and flew into town to surprise my Texas best friend the Stinger. He was damn surprised and so was alot of other people that had no clue I was coming into town.

I spent 11 days in sunny Dallas Texas. It was great not all drama free, but a good vaca.
I had a couple great conversations with some people, and am adapting a life more dedicated
to meditation. I have taken some time off from everything except hanging out with my self. I have gotten away, silenced myself and realize im grateful for the family struggle my father and I have gone thru with this prostrate cancer. We thank God for our blessing, and enjoy each day as it was our last.

I have been introduced to a couple new groups of guys-one group is the PB Boys.
The 2nd group is the Oh No! Doom art gallery guys. Im learning about real people,
who are genuine, caring and compassionate. They love life, biking and hanging out on
the down low. Ive been meeting people who are struggling with their life, depression and
I def know where they are coming from. They have been asking some really good questions and its been fun to just hear each others stories and hear, see, and step into their life
for a while and check things out.

Im not ready for this next stage in my life

and now I know why. It's gonna be very hard. My first concern was with seeing my father, which was shocking. He's just not himself. I was just not really prepared to see what I saw.

He's been pulled through the knot hole and back. The weekend was very quick, and to be honest I might comment on it later. I think I will just say there was tons of drama, lots tears, hugs, encouragement and some broken hearts. My sisters were extremely late and really pissed me off. That's a whole another topic that prolly will never get covered.

**** Going silent and going under the radar for awhile. Were slowing moving out of the recession and I've already startedmoving into mine. I have 5key areas that I need to work in my life and that means all the other extra circular activities with and without people will cease completely. I have been here almost 22 months and I've been going strong. I need to take a step back and focus on some things...

1. I have begun writing my book.

2. Oct 1st I'm moving to a completely different area in the city.

3. My spiritual status. Need to focus on my road through Willow Creek Community Church.

4. Mental stability-Thanks 2 some generous friends. I've begun weekly psychiatric counseling.

5. Physical well being. Tony Horton's P90X- 1whole year commitment



My father, and my 2 closest best friends have endorsed this plan of action. I unfortunately will not be hanging out, calling people, will not be posting on my blog, will be off of Face Book, and not on my myspace. I'm needing to be solely & completely focused and any other distractions will bring UN-needed and UN-WANTED drama that I just don't have time for in my life anymore.

Gone silent and under the radar for awhile!

Im not 24 anymore...

Well, I def know how to party like a rock star, but I just can't hang like I use to. Im old and it just effects you different the older you get. So I always hang with either extreme older or young bucks that keep me on my feet. One of my friends at Starbucks, is who I have been hanging out with lately, hes just a great guy that puts off some good energy, that it's attractable. I have become friends with his extrmemly nice looking ex-model roommate who is def more my type of style for a friendship. We are alike in some things. One he is straight, fit, athletic and def likes sports like I do and has a business mind. The only down fall is, he's a jew, and not any jew....but JEWISH. I mean this guy is so cheap, and knows it, thats its just so funny. He has a really hot girlfriend that works for Captain Morgan @ Wrigley field, or where ever she is contracted out at. She has a great attitude on life and loves to laugh and have a good time.

Now your prolly asking me what is the problem well my sb friend is one true fag. We make each other laugh and thats always a good thing, but we just don't have alot in common. It kinda sucks cause Bruce works in the middle of the night as a stock broker for the Asian markets, so it makes it hard. Im just trying to increase my friendship base. I like big e, but he is a really selfish person, that only looks out for himself, which can be sometimes bad.

Friday night I headed over to b&e's place for a lil bbqing chicken, throwing the football, drinking and chilling. My sb partner and I were suppose to open our own stores, and I left their house at 130am, I was suppose to be gone by 10pm. Well bruces girl came over and we started chillling and realized we have to go to bed when we looked at the time @ 1am... Well I lost my bus pass at the bank and we looked all over for it, until when I got home @ 150am that I realized where it was.

Up for work 1 hour later to do a full day at my saturday starbucks in the Streeterville neighborhood. It was a very rough day. I tried to take a nap after work, but peeps kept calling me. Bruce hit me up to play tennis, and so I was off to Montrose with him to play. The last time I kinda played was 4 years ago. Were both are at the same skill level...beginner. Were gonna start playing more often.
Went back home and begun the party again by drinking, chilling, playing the wii and just us all having a good time. I left about 1030pm cause they were going to different parties and I was going home.

Well I got home and my friend called me and said, "if this is the one time you want to come meet me and I can't tell you why, you just need to trust me, this is the time." So I traveled to Halstead and North Ave to Parrots pool hall & bar and walked into a private party for friends, family and the BMX Dew tour that was having their first weekend tour wrap up party. It was right up my alley, tats, piercing, alot of wild boys and girls and I met a good friend that I talked to until about 3am, where we took the party else where...not sure why his girl didnt want to come, but she wouldnt of hung with us men anyway. ha

Well I never got any sleep, started running errands around 9am from just getting back and got ready to head to Pride. I was meeting one of my besties from Omaha Geoff. We had front row baracade spots at the middle of the parade. ONE hot mess we were. After the parade we met his friend and went out for more drinks...in which I had never stopped from sat @ 5pm. I've got issues'. I went to b&e 's place in lakeview and kept on partying until I gave up the ghost at 8pm and passed out.
Today as I write this to you, I realize im so stinking sore and Im just not like bruce & ernie not 26 years old anymore...
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Not a good week for celebrities...

Im just beside myself with this week of celebrity deaths right now. Ed McMahon was a lil shocking, then Farrah Fawcett and Michael Jackson absolutely rocked my world. I was taking
a nap, and my cell' just started ringing and texting like crazy. I turned on the news and google and my heart sank.

Im sure people will laugh at me, but I remember the first place, time, who I was with when I heard Thriller and it was with my nanny. She introduced me to the "King of Pop" I was in love
ever since. I just think that its crazy that they really do die in 3's. My night was just filled with raw emotions of talking to people. So I wake up and its all over the tv, newspapers and it's all what people are talking about.
Im getting ready for a big weekend with the BMX Dew Tour, the 2nd half of the Cross Town Classic, Tast of Chicago, and the Chicago Pride Parade. Loaded weekend...Im ready

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Chicago Naked Bike Ride 2009-6th Annual

ONE MORE DAY ooonnneee mmmoooorrreee ddayyyyyyyy. I can do this, just 1 more day.!!So yes... change is always going to be in the air around me, so if your up for it, stick around... otherwise, get lost. In my theme for my life in alway being naked as much as possible...im doing this, gonna look fabUless, and of course Im going with 9 somewhat straight in apperance and I can't wait...and NO you can't take pictures... your gonna have to trust me on this one...Sold
http://www.nbcchicago.com/around_town/the_scene/Bike-Buck-Naked.html


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Too much life, too much drama...

is what im really trying to say..."I'm really trying to rid the drama out of my life." If we were to go back in time to last September, I had big wigs from a certain cable and music based company wanting me to be there first victim. I was approached to have my life filmed kinda like "Real World', but more like "College Life" for the most part being filmed by myself. So I agreed to meet up with the producers. They came and spent Thanksgiving weekend with me, watching me, following me, listening to all my phone calls, asking me 100s of questions and meet who I hung out with. After the first day, they said, "we're sold, your in". Well to the the say least, I was not informed that they also had been videoing me with their eye glasses. I thought it might be a lil odd that they all were wearing glasses-ALL THE TIME.

Christmas was around the corner and I got the call Ive been waiting for from the big wig himself in L.A. Well I was glad to hear that filming would begin May 1, 2009 till Sept 6. I was going to have a very packed schedule, they would be filming me at my work, going to church, working at the bar, and then all my extra activities on the side.

They had a few "request of requirements"
1. my best friend Derrick from Dallas had to come visit me for Labor Day weekend
2. OR I had to go on vacation to Dallas and then have a Labor Day party at Derricks farm
3. I had to go see my parents in Branson Missouri for 4th of July at dads church.-DRAMA
4. My sister Debra and I would have to go on vacation to Mpls to Victoria's
5. My 2 sisters had to come hangout with my parents when they come in July
6. Lastly either I or my other best friend Matthew had to go on vacation together

The exec producer told me that the only way filming would begin was with my thanksgiving as Season 1 of Big Tex hits Chicago. Well let me break it down 4 ya. I was really going through a rough time at that particular valley in my life. I will just say this out of these 3 at my house for 4 full days, I was only sober 4hours of those 4 days. So basically 1 hour of each day I was sober. I was not myself, you wouldn't recognized me, and I would completely disgraced my family, friends, and my faith. The only person that I really cared about their position on this was my bf matthew smith. "randall you won't get it, or understand my answer for many years, but your gonna have to trust me on this one... don' do this video documentary. You will regret it." Well this is probably one of the first times in a while that the tone of his voice screamed stop production-not literally, but in my mind...it did.

So your probably wondering...what is so interesting about randy paul thompson...Well I'm glad you asked? After a 15 page application, 2 i-chat video conference interviews, one here in Chicago and then I go the call.

In a nut shell, I was a complete and utter surprise, my siblings adored me and I rode in on my brother Jim Thompson Platteveiw High quarterback shoulders onto the field before every home game. My family owned a multi-million dollar business, grew up catholic, vodka added to my baby bottle at 2 years old, turned baptist in 1982, my best friend in 7th grade got knocked up, and then pregnant at freshman summer, high school best friend killed himself on the phone, another Omaha friend dieing in my arms after a self inflected gun shot wound to the head, from grandma dieing one month later after Patrick G. My grandpa was a pro golfer, they were best friends with Mr Weatherspoons who owned Pamida, went on missions trip to Mozambique Africa with Teen Missions, worked at a Timberlee Christian Center as a program director assistant and counselor my sophmore summer, and got kicked out that summer. My mom passed away Dec 16, 1998, my father remarries 1 year later, doubled my family and immediately was the black sheep of the new family. Stayed with Mother Teresa her last year of the first half of 95 and soaked it all in. I travel roughly 8 good 4-5 day vacations a year. I lived in Vegas, Dallas and now Chicago for 5 years each. I had a really dark rough time in Dallas and still wondering when I will find out why God took me through that hard valley? Im really missing my mom, I have a dad who is also a pastor, dealing with both of our cancers, his sisters are stuck in Dimensia, and passing away one right after another, growing up like women, but knowing Im gay, and what is the church going to say about it?

Last but not least, after I had been working on coming to Chicago my last 6 months, till now I have been on many of film, tv, and commericals already and Im not even trying to. I have been an a segment of Airplane on TLC, a walker in the park on a car accident episode of ER in 2007, 1930's passer by on the street on this summer opening movie Public Enemies! Lastly, I had a small walk on by-on The Beast with Patrick Swayze, too bad it just got cancelled due to his cancer. We had a lot of family friends passing away, dealing with cousins, and aunts cancer, my son was soon to be 21 years old. I wanted him to know his real father if he chooses. He knew I was moving to Chicago to give him that opportunity and we have hung out 4 times. Life is too short, the risk is always greater and some times you just have to say "F8$# it...Im in!"

Im getting ready to start in a new area in my life, new part of the city Im unfamilar with, and ready to tackle the next 3 years here in Chicago. I have begun writing a book about my incredible, wild and drama filled journey called my life-with the drama.
Until then my friends and family I will be taking a lil break, but promise to be back soon. I still might plug in a few thoughtful events that you need to know about...kinda like this next one, otherwise-peace out!

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a deadly diease...

has been slowly taking over a friend of mine here in Chicago. Well lets start when I moved into the building. It goes something like this. I moved into my first apt in Chicago and I noticed the older gray haired man walking his dog. He was very friendly to everybody and alwys held the doors for everybody. Well this guy was just an ordinary guy from the outside, but when you got to know him, he was brain surgeon and this guy was brilliant. Doc is known around the building who has been living here for over 4 years. I would make time for Doc, most people wouldn't listen to him, or even engage him, "until you moved in, no one would talk to me." Nothing wrong with the guy, maybe a lil beer gut, or just another old man who walked with a limp. Well he just retired he smokes, and walks that dog prolly 6-8 times a day, thats all she will let him out. Doc has Alzheimers and he is really fading fast. Since Im really the only one ever talks to him, we would sit in the front of the building for hours with Harley and talking about life. His two sons are Chicago police officers and are always checking on him. They have thanked me many times for pouring into thier father. Probaly 9 months I thought I was noticing a change. He would follow me all over the building, hangout around my door for hours and I would watch him threw my peephole. He would be telling a story about a surgery and then all of sudden start talking about something polar opposites. He started to get really touchy feely, rub my bald head, tickle me and thats when I had to draw the line. These last 3 months I have just avoided him all together, because I was starting to feel real uncomfotable just even leaving my apartment. You can ask my bf here, Katrina can atest we have had some wierd and just plain akward run ins with him.

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A great birthday..

Well I turned a year older, and I'm stuck at my fav number for an age 35. I just wish we didn't have to turn older than that number and we can stay looking young fully youthful. >>We have Matt a 22 yr old hustling token black man who chose not to go to college and work 2 jobs 60hrs weekly, has a steady 2 year girl friend and likes to kick it on the down low with. His family life is sub par, but he does not complain much, except for the recent run of bad luck who came his way. In one weeks time, his mom almost caught him doing the nasty, he got caught with possession and spent 6 hours in jail, and he made his girlfriend get him out. When you thought it couldn't get any worse, his mom found weed in his pants pockets and flipped her biscuits. His father is not in the picture and does not want to hurt his mother that he cherishes. He is athletic, very spontaneous, loyal and has a very easy going personality. He will go far in life.

The 2nd is the token Mexican, which immediately I take a liking to, only cause a good majority of my friends are Latino. I get along with this race really well and they always like me. This heavy metal, goth, punk and lil emo 25 year old Mexican just took the plunge at his old time grades school love in martial bless this past Halloween. They got married on the evening of Satan's favorite holiday, and to top it off their love for monsters and the such come in a rare form of display all over their new house. The only go to grunge bars, biker bars, love hard music, party like there is no tomorrow and Edgar has taken me under his wing. Born and raised in Chicago, this south sider loves his heritage roots and believes friendship with his homeboys his 2nd to his marriage to his wife and their families.

Well the 3rd is token sexuality charged white boy that everybody cant stand to love, but always wants me around for a good laugh... hell you already know the rest, I don't need to keep my Real World Chicago episode going, but don't you worry...it will keep itself going!! I promise.
So far I have had to get rid of a few friends that just weren't willing to step to the plate in a very one-sided friendship. Hanging with Edgar and his wife bebe, and Matt are proof to me there are still damn good people in Chicago, I just need to patient and we will find each other out in this 7million metropolis that I call my new fav home-CHICAGO The Windy City.

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100 Days of OBAMA. Opinion poll question...

Well here is all I have to say about his first 100 days. Its about damn time a president finally did something in his first 100 days. Let's keep it going Obama. Full steam ahead....
http://redeye.chicagotribune.com/red-042909-obama100-main,0,4181284.story

So here is my question that Im asking my close friends. If you knew your best friend had moved to a completely different part of the U.S. to begin a friendship, relationship w/2 sisters, ONE in particular that you knew he was closer to and he told you that he hasnt seen her in over 8 months, and they only live 1 hour away from each other?
What would you say to your best friend.
A. Get over it, she's busy, has a family, and a life. B. Your expecting too much. C. Houston we have a problem? or D. Move on...she obviously doesn't have time for you?

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Is Iowa really ahead of Illinois??/

Well, it looks that way. Today was the first day of "Same Sex Marriages to be legal in Iowa. Im hoping this does not turn out like California. People ask me my opinion all the time. I really didnt think I was so opinionated, but I guess I am. When you read this...chill out. Im totally for this in every way possible. I just wish it was Illinois and or all of the U.S. It's 2009 and people should be able to fall in love with who they want...regardless of their up bringing, religious belifs, or what their friends/family think. Im so over people's close minded views. I sometimes just cant stand this country in their conservative mind set.
http://www.chicagotribune.com/news/chi-ap-ia-gaymarriage-glanc,0,7615023.story

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Friendships are really hard to come by...

and I know that personally. People in this day and age are becoming so consumed with themselves and their financial gain. The world has got to be coming to an end, because there are some really jacked up people living on this world(not really even considering my friends and family in this thought but a few fit the bill). I'm sounding out against people who think they are so not into themselves and those are the worst ones, cause they don't even realize they SO are. It really has had an effect on my social interaction with what I call doochbags. I really enjoy meeting new people, hearing their stories and finding out how/why they tick. I have been secretly doing a 3year study on human behavior, friendships and family rivalry.
My studies are still continuing and people still fail to amaze me with their lack of judgment, communication, and their own selfish gratification to only pump and boost their egos.

I have also really met some outstanding people that are just a diamond in the ruff. I have been really slowing down the process of getting to know them to fast, just b/c I come with such a loaded plate. My friend Bizzell and I have realized were are really alike in alot of areas. Its good
to know that friends are really hard to come by, but when you found those few, those diamonds really sparkle and effect how you do life.

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My 2nd Easter at Willow Creek...

since I moved here and I could hardly stand it. This 4th month of the year is looking to be my favorite, I finally can "get it together", I know right?? My life is not out of the woods, but it is sure turned out to be alot more calm, peaceful and now off to a new busy season in my life. Well Easter morning I got up, and took the dog on a walk and we went to Lake Michigan (2blocks away) and watched the sunrise. It was awesome. I had a quick breakfast and then I was off to the Creek for the 8am service.The whole service was amazing, but the message was so from God and it totally spoke to my heart, again like I was the only person in the 7200 seat auditorium. You can watch the 15 minute message,drama-dance routine, and hear the end of the message song, it was an amazing service.
CHECK OUT THE MESSAGE HERE....I have been doing alot of thinking, praying, reading a couple good books, and contemplating. Im not sure on what, but Im hopeful one day real soon, I can tell you I really think my best days are ahead of me. Im still working out with my trainer everyday and we have started Tony Hortons
90 Day Body for Life Transformation. Im going to go one step further and do a 4th month before I do the big revealing. It is slowly changing my life, I might be out of my league on this one, but this old goat can "Get R done...I promise". I will see you Labor Day weekend in September.
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Was it a Good Friday...

well to some, maybe even alot of people would say Yes. "I got up started some coffee, kissed my old lady goodbye and headed off to the loop to starbucks for work. I dont work really early in the morning, I did my 6 hours and headed back to the south side. I got home and with in 5minutes my Good Friday went bad. My sister gave me the news that my best friend had passed away in a car accident this early morning. I got pissed, I cried, I broke my wifes favorite picture of us when we got married, I raged. Im a good Christian catholic man trying to just live a good life. There is no way that my best friend just died this early morning from a drunk driver hit and run.
You have to check out this article>>>

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/30151844/

"Randall my life just stopped and I need someone to help start it back up again?" That's what I heard on the other side of the phone, that a buddy of mine just told me. Eddie is a humble but proud Guatemalan who just lost his best friend. What really pissed him off was the hit and run driver was an off duty cop. What do I do Randall?"

Well the only open door I had was wide open. Bill Hybels would be oh so proud...I walked thru it. I get these scenarios all the time. I enjoy meeting people, hanging, bonding with people that God brings into my path. I will always do that...Life is all about people on our spirtual journey.

I just started working at my new starbucks just 4 weeks ago and last weekend I hung out with this guy named Eddie. I have already described his birthday a few posts ago. Great 25 year old that just got married on Halloween night. We talked for awhile on the phone Friday afternoon, and had to get off the phone when his mourning friends started piling into the house. He wanted to hang with me after I got off work. I got to his around 11am, his wife left a short time after that and we hung till 6pm. We chilled, listened to music, he showed me around Pilsen, met his sister, niece and mother and really got to know this kid. He commented to me towards the end of our hangout time. "Randall I knew there was something I liked about you. Your like me, your real, compassionate, very chill and geniunly like getting to know people. Im glad that I just met a new friend. Thanks for hanging w/me today, I really needed that."

Eddie it was my pleasure, Im really enjoy all my interaction with in the latino community. They love their familes, their culture and meeting new friends.

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holy hump day Week....

This week is flying by, but Im so extremly busy. Well I went to go see my first experience to the infamous "Vagina Monolgues" wow. Honestly its Wednesday and Im still unsure of what I experienced. I have been enjoying this week in solitude, reflection and focused forward. Im really excited that Im gonna be able to go to Good Friday service at Willow.

Here is a few shots of my encounter...

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An amazing Palm Sunday service @ the Creek...

Weekend Seeker Service Elements - April 4, 2009
Only God: Part 5, Only God Can Lead the Submitted Heart

Service Elements
Click on the item name for product purchasing information.
Element Type
Service Element
Video
Song
For the Beauty of the EarthPsalm 24:1, 33:5 on side screens during instrumental breaksFolliot S. PierpointPublic Domain

Scripture Reading
Psalm 8:3-4 on side screens

Song
HosannaBy Brooke Fraser©2006 Hillsong Publishing

Other
Reading from Orthodoxy by G. K. Chesterton

Song
EnchantedAaron Niequist©2005 AARONieq Music

Song
This Is My Father's World1 Samuel 2:7-9 on side screens during instrumental breakWords: Maltbie D. Babcock Music: Trad. English melody; adapt. by Franklin L. Sheppard Public Domain

Offering & Announcements


Message
Bill Hybels

Song
God Is HereWords and music by Israel Houghton, Martha Munizzi and Meleasa Houghton©2003 Martha Munizzi Music / Integrity's Praise! Music

Closing
Bill Hybels

It's spring time in Chicago and aver temp is 55. I had the most amazing God encounter in a long time. Senior pastor Bill Hybels finished the last installment of "Only God Can Lead the Submitted Heart" The blinds were opening, the waterfalls flowing in the background and people scrambling for a seat. I went up to the balcony on the 3rd level and sat in the middle and watched the count down clock on the screens begin to hit 30 seconds.

After that it was encounter that you can only explain that it was just you and God in that 7400 seat auditorium and your just in awe, with emotion, tears, sadness and then forgiveness. ***IF you want to hear an amazing message here is the link from the April 4/5 weekend message.

Well the worship was amazing, and the message was so alive with passion, it was as if it was only God and me in the auditorium. Only God can speak to heart that needs to stop running and start crawling. The set was simple and cool which changed moods with lighting. It was nice and chill.

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Saturday means Van Morrison....

I spent the day sleeping, recovering and cleaning my apartment while hanging with my kids. Then all of sudden @ 4:21pm exactly I got the call, I got surprised with the invite from my buddy Eddie the birthday boy himself. WOW, OMG. Im still a lil ya know.... Well the concert got out after 1130pm, then we went to party @ Uptown Lounge, and then after after hours at my place untill 3am. Yes Im goin to church in a few hours... you can belive that. I really enjoyed the concert, def got a contact high, ( imagine that at a Morrison concert, right?) I need to start going to more concerts... that's for sure.

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Time for a birthday....

on the south side in Little Italy aka "Mexico". Well I jumped on the 147 heading to downtown @ 8pm and then jumped on the Pink line to Pilsen. I walked 4 full city blocks carrying my camera, food, a case beer and bottle of wine (for Eddies wife). Boy was I getting looks from the Hispanics prolly salivating over my Heineken's! I get to the party at 9pm in which I planned on arriving early to hangout with the 25 yr old birthday boy. I guess alot of other people thought that too.

When I walk in, I literally almost dropped my wine. The apartment was very dark, gloomy, hazy, (not sure from what;) all the rooms were painted very dark, gargoyles and all the scary movie monsters you could think of were up on these dark walls. When I could finally ear my own heart beat, it was to the beats of Slayer, Marlyn Manson, Korn, and etc. My spirit pre-warned me and boy was I glad for that. The party didn't even officially start till 10pm and there were already 30 people there and I was doing a all nighter and then heading to work @ 6am from their house??? I was starting to re-think that idea. His whole entire family, friends, and us co-workers from SB Illinois Center were there and all in rare form.

I have never been to the "south west side", let alone since I have just started at a new Starbucks for only a month. I def saw a different side of my co-workers. I know that I do each and every day, but these poor people "need Jesus" and I mean literally. I hung with the parents, and oh yes the grandparents, siblings and had a really good time. Eddie caught me looking at my watch and said, "bro, its only 1am, were going until you leave for work @ 5am and they did. I had to get at least 2hours, and boy was I hurting at 6am going into Ernies store in the loop.

I vowed when I became a Christian over 10years ago, that I would invest my time energy and resources to the good of the not so common people. I enjoy hanging out with these peeps that most shun and turn a def ear too. Eddie was really surprised that I came, but when he come to greet me." he said I'm glad to see you Randolla, but not surprised, b/c your one of those rare breeds that actually tell, show and love people through your actions. I guaranteed knew you would be here, thanks bro."
I think the more I hang with all different ethnic groups, I really find that the Latinos are like me they really do care and walk the talk.

P.s No I didnt take any pics, sorry.

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Friends come in all colors of the rainbow...

and I'm so glad that my family let me experience-culture. I have alot of African American friends, but one to be exact is just a blank canvas that listens with his heart, loves with eyes and wipes the tears away with hugs. I have been getting steered into a life that I think needs to begin concentration back on my core root of where my being began to form. I have realized with the help of this friend I still have a couple of mad crushes that prolly will not be blossomed in this life time. I know love can always come back around, but sometimes you just might have to let it go and realize....then you can really only love what you had.

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I hate April 1st

this day to me is kinda dumb, lets be honest. Here is what we do... we prank our closest friend on this funny day of humor. They get up to start there day, not realizing what this day will entail.
They pick up the phone to receive the prank, and immediately get pissed, or laugh. Well mine this year was in person... and I didn't care for it.

So I'm up working out with my friends, a personal trainer, and my personal assistant going over the agenda for my crazy busy weekend. Just go with it. Well my boo aka the P.A. was really not wanting to tell me something but needed to. " Randall I have to move and there is nothing I can do about it." My heart sank and emotions began to fill and over come my body. My old lady is moving and where I'm not sure. I have known that God has been slowly moving my life into a transitional period, but this was just down right wrong. My best friend, my counselor, a workout partner, the mother of my child Harley Daniel, who will babysit her when I can't come home, hell who is going to align my weekly schedule and remind me whats on my busy plate... I guess me?

I have realized that I have let friends get to close to me and my true friend has been on the back burner. I have been actively looking at drawing the curtain back on my life and taking out some of the un-needed props that make my life easier, but maybe more complicated.


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Its been a long time...

I know and I can only say I'm sorry. I wish I could say that Ive been busy, but not really. In
2 weeks, I'm going to take a year or 2 and work my ass off and do 80 hours a week. It was a really hard decision to make, but I have been only working 1 full time job of 30 hours a week and some bartending gigs With the economy just really in the middle stages, I have a opotunity to work 3 jobs and Im going to take advantage of that..
I went through a rough time, losing a friend, finding out my father has prostrate cancer and nobody had any idea, (not to draw attention to himself), and helping out a few friends get through tough marriages. It was by there choice to include me, not mine.

The winter was kinda rough, but I really didn't think it was that bad. Spring is def here and I'm ready for the summer. I have been going through some learning labs and my frustration level has been really high. I'm def going to take some time out and work and get caught back up. The economy has def kicked me in.
Harley is doing great, no more peeing on the floor, her and jasmine are really close. I have had to let go of more of my friends. I'm really burned out that I have NOT seen my sister (1hour away) since July 10. Yea crazy huh. I'm torn I really feel like the world these last 3 years have been intermingled with very self absorbed people and to me those are the people that I need to stay away from. I have really positively changed into a loner and I like that.

I have been meeting some really cool and interesting people through Starbucks and they have all been leaders and not followers. I met this 25 y/o hippie biker with a big red fro named Bezzell. He is avid biker and does not use public transport, very chill and just down to earth. This guy is too freaking smart for his own good, he landed me a bike that I'm picking up this week. I have been reading a couple of books, working out, and finding my inner well being while trying to stay spiritual in a very UN spiritual world.



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Welcome 2009 and a new president...what do you pledge?

Well, I hope everyone is having a great start to a new year of CHANGE. My new years celebration was relaxed and at home with my baby. Chicago is on a high like none other. The world is watching and GW is on his way out and a new African American black man is up 4 great change. You can feel the electricity everywhere, its so good to be alive and living in America and in one of the greatest cities in the U.S.

Many of you have requested info on the infamous "Ben Dicke Christmas Tree", you can't have one, and I won't tell you where I got it from. I can give you a hint though...

The last 2 weeks have been very sobering for me, not really but it sounded good, didn't it. I have been taking more time from a busy schedule and relaxing a bit. I have been thinking and waiting for January 2o, 2009. After being glued to the TV all weekend long, my heart, mind, and soul are thoroughly convinced, we are in midst of change and for the good. We have a man that is willing to step up and try and tackle the issues that have been jacked up, due to the last 8 years of an idiot running the country. Trillions and trillions of dollars gone, over 3,500 souls lost to a war that have turned up with no weapons of mass destruction and an economy that is still going to be in the toilet for at least the next 2 years.

Today, I will try and believe in the better good of America, with a new start of leadership knowing I will have to be the change, to spread the change. I'm pledging to take the Red campaign with Bono with me everyday in 2009. Do Something Good Every Day in 2009! Be that change.

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