Walking alongside a friend...FC music is back...Christmas for GLBT's

****This will be another touchy subject, and wish not to piss anybody off.**** I have been getting along with this awesome person from one of my jobs. I have earned her trust on big secrets that she has trusted me with. This past week I had to make a hard decision on morals, or Christian beliefs. My friend got pregnant and was really excited about it, but then slowly changed her mind. She asked me if I would go with her to go get an abortion, now my first reaction was, "are you out of mind?" You love your 3 kids now, why would you even think of something like that? Well, I spent the week wondering what kind of person would I be if I did not go, but still talk to her about God things. I don't think she would then take me seriously. Do I go, and hurt God's heart or befriend a person who looks for trust, loyalty, and being real. Well, I chose on showing a good loyal Christian friendship that she will hopefully find Faith, Hope, and Love in this dark world. If you go back to New Testament, Jesus talks about hanging out with the hookers, poor, people in need, and those are the people you could find Jesus, just chilling with. Well, that is who Jesus and I chose to chill with. I took her out for breakfast, and I prayed for our day, our breakfast to give us the best nourishment right now, and a calm peace that she would find Gods heart and love in this time. Since that day she is resting at home and her heart is still in need of what she just might of lost. Well, I found out that they are changing pictures, and you can see what hot hits were part of their past weekend worship set. Well, I hung out with my other good friends. If you want to see a real freak show, next year you got to come down to the Halloween Block Party in the famous largest gay district in Uptown Dallas. Thousands, upon thousands of Gay's Lesbians, Bisexual, and Trandsgendered, and also all of us in the regular mix all the straight people. It is a lot of fun, but it is just crazy to witness all the differernt freak shows there are. It was definitely Christmas for all the GLBT's-Merry Christmas.

Mom is it my turn?? Which do you prefer a trick or treat?...Single 4 life?...

\ happy birthday to Nan Dailey and Matthew Waller-bro your 30!!/

It is the weekend, and I am ready to let my hair down!! My second job is a blast, the people really make it fun, and they actually do care, well at least some of them. When I got hired, I was told that I would have to wait a while to get on the wait staff, which I was ok for that, sometimes in life you just have to wait for the good stuff. This cute little, dark ethnic, (background-unknown) mom of the store, told me last night that I am going to start training next week. Which I am stoked about. Ms K (to keep her guessing) is the mom of the group, and definitely the glue to that store, which I hope the right people one day come to realize. She is awesome, she makes me and the rest of the staff laugh each day she is working. I really like this group, the bartenders are awesome, we have a really cool laid back young minnesotaian executive chef, and down to earth people. Yes there are a couple I could see not working there, but I am not the boss, so that will probably not happen.
My friend who loves carrots, sorry bro I had to tell the story, and of course it was a hit. Love ya

Tonight and tomorrow I have to work at Fridays, but Saturday night, I will be out on the town. A bunch of us are meeting for dinner at Cafe Brazil-uptown, and then heading to the block party in the Oaklawn district. Thousands upon thousands of people of all different backgrounds converge onto this 2 mile radius to have fun, drink, and of course check out the scenery. I will be looking for treats, and I am sure the rest of my single friends will be looking for tricks, not my thing, but to each is own. For my friends back at home like Shane, Jeanette, or Michelle-Don't go there. I know you want to, but let's not OK!? Trick or Treat?

I really have been enjoying my singleness. I just think for a while, I am going to remain single, personally I think for life, but I could be open to a realationship. I really have no desire to get married at all, that I am positive on, and will not EVER happen. A really good friend of mine who I met at Fellowship has been choosing to be single, only cause God has not lead him down that road yet. He wrote this article on being single in a Christian lifestyle. It is an awesome article from an awesome man of God, so check it out here.

Long day at the office...Visit Fellowship of Maceio, Go White Sox

What a very long day and night. I just got home, the bar got spanked, and I was asked to bar back and help out. It is a really fun job, but the bartender sure does like for us two to do shots together. I was working my tail off and by the 2nd shot, and wondering why I am sweating, I came to the realization that I had not eaten, since oh let's say 4pm, and by then it was time to go home. We had a girl who comes in a regular basis, that is always loopy. We found out that she is a pill popper, and to be honest, I really don't know anybody around my age and under who is not. It is kind of sad, that all the people I know are always popping zanax, vicadin? And stuff like that. I ended up "being security" and watching her all night so she would not leave, while we were waiting for the cab to come. Towards the end of the night, another one passed out at the bar, and we had to call him a cab, to say the least, wow what a night!?!?

I know I should really be a Texan as my friends say, but I really hope the White Sox pull a big win.

I am sad to say that the Fellowship web design dept. are making a few changes, I am not sure, why, and for what reason they did not get my opinion on this, but they are no longer sharing with the world what kind of worship set they did that weekend on their web page. I hope they change their mind, we will have to wait and see. One of the big mission trips that FC does, started 3 years ago in Maceio Brazil, check out the updates here.

This weekend was awesome at FC. Tianne Moon is one of our speakers when Ed is gone and she spoke on how to really listen. Between the roar of rush hour traffic, the buzz of airplanes overhead and the constant ringing of the telephone, it's amazing that we can hear our own thoughts-much less the voice of God when He calls out to us. In this message we learned how to drown out the White Noise and listen to the one true voice that matters.

What's around the bend...

Well, breast cancer month is almost over, and I am gearing up for what lies ahead for me in the next few months. Along with a heavy work load, and a few friends that want to come and see me, (3 different groups just for thanksgiving weekend). I am not sure how I am going to pull that one off, and with the big one, my moms passing away month, I am gearing up for the emotion. I was lying in bed and realizing that I am still so blessed. My health is not where I want it to be, but we are working on that. My family and some very close friends are still dealing with cancer and on Halloween coming up, it will be a somber, but joyous time of reflection. I had a couple of friends pass away since I have been living here in Dallas, from Aids.

I just want to share Aids is not just a gay thing, people's mindset, is that only homosexuals pass on Aids. That is probably just the opposite, more heterosexual people who pass it knowingly, and some unaware of this diease, that can be slow, but deadly are in the running. It's not hard to practice safe sex, trust me, I know people who were very sexually active, and have been non-active for well over 5 years.
That is probably one thing I really enjoy about my life, in a non-bragging way, is that I have friends, and can make friends with anybody or any group. I am developing a friendship with a friend who visits FC and thinks every church should be cool, hip, and contemporary like that. He has realized through me and our talks, that his sexual activity really needs to slow down, HE realized it, without me making him really aware of how careless he is with who he takes home from the bars. No, he is not a Christ follower yet, but he does know the difference in my life verses his own. That is how I can have so many different types of friends without judging them, and they do not feel so much pressure from me, like others who are more of a "bible beaten' em over their head". People it is being real, honest, open, with the intent of building a relationship that they see, feel, and hear in a non-judgmental way. I don't have it down, but when it comes down to friendship, I at least know I am heading in the right direction, cause it comes back to me, "if you want a true friend, or if you need to talk to someone, you can definitely trust him". When I hear that, or it comes back to me, I feel really good knowing trust has been established, now I just hope I can show a little God in me, and how my life has been positively altered back on the right course.
peace

Time to get REAL? Weekend Ready, Texas vs Texas Tech??

Here is a recent pic of me at work and my fisty friend Mo. YOU like??? I like!!!

Well, I have this best friend back at home, she insists that I need to be more open, honest and "real" with myself, and the others in my life. In the upcoming months, I am going to try to entangle those wicked webs we weave.

I just got invited to a football watching, outdoor grilling, Guinness drinking, and hanging with the boys, and yes two really hot girls event this Saturday. Well one really hot one, and the other, she is ok, she is not dropdead hot, but she is ok. (Sorry rat, not to bust you out) Literally with in 5 minutes, I had another friend from C-30 invite me to hangout that evening, and do a little bar hopping. What to do? Who will win, it will be a good game, the longhorns, or the red raiders?

Walking high in the clouds.... Birthdays abound

I guess October is the month for birthdays, I want to say a big happy birthday, and I know, also a belated birthday to the following friends and family. Aunt Virginia, Jodi McQuillen, Chris Saub, Joseph Carlson, Shannon Crist, and last but not certainly least Meghan Bernard!!!!!

Well kids, I am going to tell ya'll a little secret, maybe its a vice, maybe a longing to reach another planet, it might be a delusional craving inside to be just normal, maybe not a Christian, or a Christian, maybe a Mormon and Jew, na I just don't think so. Just maybe a longing to be real, and not scared of what people might think of, oh if they could just be.

Oh ladies and gentlemen, a guy walked in with a pig on his left arm, no what I was going to really say is that Randillious Airlines has officially taken off, from DFW Intl, on this fine evening, MMM OOO NNN DDD AAA YYY NIGHT football, game on bitches. The inflight movie will be Oceans 11 & 12, so sit back, put your legs back, and get ready for the flight.

So anyway, Im with my friend and officially another new best friend. Let me, let you in on a secret, Afif Hossainn's family was/is one of the richest people from Bangladesh. The richest, he just throws money around like its pennies. We hangout I would say, every other day, and we just chill, leave our memories, laughter, tears, and fears, beers and queers aside, and begin to just fall into a non existent like trance. Its as if we do this only on the days where our moms thinks were at Randy Czech house in the back yard, smoking in his little sister barbie house.

Why, is it so hard to let people into your life, but wondering why do they want to get to know you, with all of the baggage they can see lying around you. That's what I think, Afif is different, he knows he has his baggage, his sin, and vice's that so entangle us into believing that life is just plain f*c*ed up, and nothing really matters. He just enjoys being in a free country, and people not knowing they just walked past one of the richest men from a small ,DFW INTL airport size country of 12 million living there, and just are content. Afif is different, he is Muslim, and he has been to church with me and thinks FC is just cool, but believing in Christ, might not just be established yet, He asked me tonight, if I died, where would I go? Remember that secret, I told, I like to smoke, I am sorry, there you go, you got it out of me. I love to just zone, not all the time, but when life throws you a few hurdles, and you just need to go to that a happy place, Vanvoorst go find your happy place. Thanks, I think I will, peace. Oh yea, in a about 30 minutes, we will be landing, and you can go dreadfully back into your pathetic excuses and attempt to call your job-- LIFE.

peace

NICE, or honesty??-which do you prefer?

Well, this has been hell week for me, and of course I am sick and came home early from work. If you know me, I love to work, when I come home, you know I am sick. I had someone drive me home and I have friends coming over to bring me lunch. I am not trying to be nice, but just plain honest. Let's see here, I was in a ok mood, but now that I just checked out my site, someone yet again is trying to be an asshole and piss me off. Well, I cant get mad over people who "Anonymously" don't have the balls to say how they really feel, or put a name with it. If you know ME, than you already know me. Let me refer you to the section that's "ABOUT ME". You read it, and then get back to me. I was thinking, let me help you OUT, " I don't see color, race, religion, or sexual orientation. I am equal with others." That is it, read into as much as want. The party I am going to will be filled with over 400 of the biggest fags, models, doctors, Asians, same sex married couples, and some of the wealthiest young professionals in the dfw .Etc, and I cant wait to hang with them. You want to know why, because they enjoy life, more than I do, because they don't believe in stereotypes, however, my so called friends obviously still do. I am close, but not yet. Oh yea, I almost forgot, I prefer to be real. Grow some.

A straight 7...Hurricane Katrina Relief Party ... Who came out?

No Edward, this post is not dedicated to you, but it might as well be. Love you, miss you, don't ever forget Marcy St vacation. Well tomorrow is going to be my 7th day working in a row at Fridays, and to celebrate I am meeting a few of my friends at Hurricane relief fundraiser party on White rock Lake. Yes, there will be a few reality stars from the Real World, Road Rules, The Bachelor, and Bachelorette, just to name a few. What is a guy suppose to do when he has not two party's to go to, but 3 in one night. Oh the possibilities. My Elsavordian family that has took me under their wing, is having a huge birthday celebration for her daughter, and my friend Mirna. Happy 21st MIRNA-get ready for the shots. Oh yea for anybody that feels the need to party make sure you have a DDriver on hand, and if you do, and you feel the need to get sick, trust me, it will be alot easier, PUKE IN YOUR CAR, not out the window. Since this is a big week with National Coming Out week, and the specific day of Oct 11. I want to acknowledge a few of my friends who decided they felt the need to kick that door open, ("No pun intended of course") I joined the huge fag-fest celebration at the State fair of Texas this past Sunday. To my friends and you know who you are, you are loved, supported, and know you can be free to just be. So, Come Out, Be Out, and Stay Out.

Be still and know you are on vacation this past weekend

I woke mid morning awoke to the cool air enjoyed being alone with myself the phone rang no more the room spinning in silence I knew this weekend would be peaceful made it out of bed since I have been awake for an hour roamed my apartment naked to the cool air blowing in on me played on the computer watched TV the aroma of incense covered my pipe smoke listened to jazz for hours no Fridays, no my martini oh to be free to just do nothing can I be dreaming 3 good meals all three days off vacationing from life, but not left texas knowing I can be free to just be ME

a cool-cold air front... high off of paint fumes....living care free

athis out, it is a cool 61degrees out, and the wind is blowing through my apartment and thankfully, I am not getting high anymore. I have gotten back in touch with one of my old high school best friends, that I have been trying to encourage him with his marriage. He wanted to help me out, because he was one of the people I was coming home to hangout and chill with. Our friendship didn't get tainted, just we finally found each other back on our paths. He is a really great friend, and would/has done anything for me or anybody. His brother had unfortunately taken his own life, and we have been trying to cope with that, and I hope YOU are still doing ok. We are planning on him coming down to visit me sometime around Thanksgiving. RI, know after our long talk last night, I finished painting my apartment, I finally hit the bed oh around 2am, but my apart looks sweet. Thank you for the encouragement to "Live Life Care Free". Please accept my humble apology, for us not being able to come at the last moment. Sorry my friends.

OCTOBER starting to suck as well...

ELPASO MEETS NEBRASKA VACATION-- C A N C E L L E D, sorry my friends.

A welcome to October, the eagles visit FC...

OMAHA VACATION-- C A N C E L L E D

Im still hoping and praying that this October is better than September. I am trying to get my car insurance re-instated. To be honest, I am not sure if this very soon, and upcoming trip to Omaha is actually going to happen, we will have to wait and see till the very end. Sorry.

This weekend we continued the "Love Affair" series with earlier taped "Live" interviews with couples who have went through an adulterous affair and how God has healed their marriage. It was very intense, even though their faces, and voices were altered. The worship was also really alive and energetic. Our special guest song was an Eagles song sang by Eric Orsen titled "the best of my love". It Rocked.