Main Entry: 1re·spect Pronunciation: ri-'spektFunction: nounEtymology: Middle English, from Latin respectus, literally, act of looking back, from respicere to look back, regard, from re- + specere to look -- more at SPY1 : a relation or reference to a particular thing or situation
Why is it so hard for people to not respect people's wishes, why do people continue to push other people's buttons. They push, test your patience and don't give a crap about your opinion. I this year will be trying to lead by example and respect you and myself. This is going to be my year. I am not messing around any longer. If I lose everything, than I will just have to rely on God, because right now, that is all I have. The so called friends that I thought I had are gone, my life is empty, I choose not to go out, but to remain inward. My depression has left me numb to this earth. God is slowly showing me that He is all I need. Any other extra bonuses, or asset's is a gift, and for right now, I am ok with that. Friends have left me high and dry. Omaha friends that I thought would come and visit, have not. Ones I am waiting for, I will not continue to hold my breath. Im starting 2006 with a clean slate to my life. I am not begging for anybody's friendship. I don't expect contact to continue however I wish it would, but at least the thought that I am still alive, and somewhat healthy is still ok. I will be waiting with open arms to my friends to acknowledge that is what we are. Otherwise my life will continue somewhat saddened that I can not give into a relationship any longer, I have finally realized that the most important relationship I have over looked for many years, and the one I cant wait to daily meet is with my creator- the one true relationship that will last, make me happy, continue to restore my faith, and promise me hope.
No, I am not upset with anybody, asking for cards, emails, flowers, or any pity party, Im just going on with my life, now more aware that a sleepy giant has been finally awoke, and breathing a great sigh of relief that will only benefit me and the people who choose to be around me. That sleepy giant has been me.
2 comments:
Very interesting that you have decided to put this proclamation down for all to see. Very daring resolution for someone starting a new and very difficult path. Cheers to you though, for taking that first step to saying you want to better yourself. I will continue to stay optomistic. And now I want to write something down for the record and say that this Omaha friend "will" be visiting this summer. Mark It!!!
S
It is amazing to see two ends of the spectrum, the beginning of the spectrum (when you moved to TX) and this end (the writing of this blog). I can only say Randall that I love the work God has done in you. You were a baby crying for milk every couple of minutes when I first met you. It was all about what others thought about you and if you didn't have someone next to you you were asleep. It seemed that you also took only what people told about God instead of you listening directly to him. Sounds like things have changed, for the better.
The respect thing and pushing buttons will be a wonderful thing. I will love to see that when we finally get to meet up again. Hey when you coming to Colorado?
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