Sunday, August 27, 2006

Friendships come, friendships go?.?.?. TIM KASHER-who?

I am not sure how I forgot to tell everybody. But who that in walks- Tim Kasher, one of my friends from way back in the day from Upstream Brewing Co. in Omaha Ne. where we use to work at together. Both very surprised to see each other, but excited to catch up on old times. He was getting ready to start up his long European tour for his band the Cursive

How do you, when you know you are supposed to let go of a good friendship of 2 years? What makes a person want to let go, but not want to give up, and of course-betray a friendship? Those are the questions that I have been asking myself and David. I love friendship, building a good strong relationship, but sometimes the cord has to be cut. I am not going to mention any names, but more than likely you will be able to figure it out. Yesterday, I had to say goodbye to a friendship, that I knew would be tough. This kid depended on me for everything. I really don't feel too taken advantage of, but the friendship was a little one sided in my book. This was the first time he ever had a best friend here in the states, and back at home. We started drifting apart, not clicking, not seeing eye to eye around 6 months ago, and eventually the chain had to break. He tried committing suicide on me, and of course I am, have been,and still trying to get him help. I just can't be there for him anymore. When you have an awesome friendship like Davids, that spurs you on spiritually, builds you up, and is always wanting you to raise the bar, (and is in his own life, without the use of drugs, alcohol, and sex) and not always pulling you down, but helping you to get back up, that is the type of friendship that at this particular time-I NEED. I wish my friend all the best. I gave that kid all I had to give that he can use a little each day for the rest of life, but it was never enough. You just keep getting burned out. I sent him a long email explaining everything, and I feel that God really wrote it, and He did, that when I hit send, it was like tons of weight had fallen off my shoulders. You want a good sign of friendship, David was really down in the dumps, depressed and NOT himself those past 5 days, and that is a good sign, you have a really good best friend. "Randall, when you are down, I am down, I don't like to see you depressed like that, because it hurts me to see your heart in so much pain." When I heard that, I knew I made the right decision in a friendship that will last a life time.

living for an audience of ONE...

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